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When people don't support you.

Discussion in 'health & fitness' started by Parma_violet, Apr 6, 2012.

  1. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    In losing weight.

    I absolutely snapped at my friend today because he did the usual "I don't think you need to lose weight" thing. I am heavier than ever, I have clothes which don't fit (clothes that I wear A LOT) and I feel bad about myself. I am really sick of hearing "I don't think you need to lose any" from everyone. Who cares, I want to!!!! And then they make it hard by offering sweets etc.
    Please tell me I am not the only one with friends like this, and tell me how you block them out. Whenever my best friend is trying to quit smoking I am very encouraging, to me this is the same.
    1 person likes this.
  2. dirtyplotte

    dirtyplotte sassamafras

    well im only an internet fake person, but i didnt think you needed to lose weight either until you said oh no, i've gained and im not happy where i am. which makes sense. i dont think you're a crazy ana person, either. like most of us are fatties vs ana here. not you. i think you're probably pretty reasonable.

    just try and be patient. they are likely surprised bc you're not a pig. but really, our views of what is fat have changed over the past few decades. if youll look at movies from 70's early 80's like.. meatballs. the fat kid in that movie just doesnt look fat anymore. bc we are all so adjusted to seeing *really* fat.

    so as long as you arent trying to diet past your low BMI, try and be patient with peoples perceptions and take it as a compliment?

    but i would give the finger to anyone who was plying me with sweets when they know im on a diet. thats just shitty.
  3. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    Exactly, I know I am not fat but I am fat-ter. And I can't afford to go out and replace some of my favourite clothes just because I don't fit them. It seems to have been pretty sudden weight gain too and nothing seems to help so that is why it is drastic diet time.
  4. gelflinggirl

    gelflinggirl BADMAN.

    I put on weight and when I lost it a few people gave me hassle for looking bad when I had lost the weight and then I put it back on (not on purpose) and so many people were like PHEW you looked so bad when you were that thin. and I was thinking just imagine if one of them got fat and I was like OH YOU LOOK SO GROSS fat or when they lost weight said PHEW thank god you lost weight, you looked so terrible when you were a big gross fatty.
  5. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    It is so rude. I don't know, it's like I can only be allowed to lose weight if I am actually obese. Until then, snack away! Fuckers.
  6. obscurearse

    obscurearse the figurehead

    Don't snap, or you'll pass for a hysteric bitch with an eating disorder ;) Unless you're unhealthily fat (and I know you aren't), I'm not sure this is the same thing as encouraging someone to stop smoking. Perhaps your friends are worried about you feeling fat when you're not, and their natural reaction is to reassure you that you look great. Men especially tend to think that worrying about your appearance is silly, so maybe explain to them that you're just trying to improve your general fitness? Or tell them you like your belly but can't afford to buy new clothes - that should shut them up.

    I have a similar "issue" with my boyfriend, in the sense that, whenever I decide to go on a health kick because I'm feeling fat, he'll say "You're not fat!!111" and try to feed me chocolate instead. And, because I have no will power, I'll eat it and feel even fatter. To be completely honest, though, it's a bit of a lifesaver for me, as I can be pretty extreme with my eating habits and he's good at keeping me in check.
  7. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    Ah but I am gaining weight. I am not at one weight and sticking, I am getting bigger.
  8. dirtyplotte

    dirtyplotte sassamafras

    thats fucked up. not only bc its rude, but also wrong. you posted thin pics of you and no way were you gross, just thinner. people are fucking stupid.
  9. dirtyplotte

    dirtyplotte sassamafras

    and dont let people just say OH BUT YOURE GETTING OLD. bc you dont have to turn into a frumpy housewife just bc youre older. check this lady out...

    WMTW Home -
  10. obscurearse

    obscurearse the figurehead

    I went through the opposite. Like, I wasn't feeling mentally well and lost a lot of weight and people kept going "OMG, you look great!" and I'd explain that I was going through a bit of a shitty time and they'd go "It doesn't matter, you look awesome!!". I mean, really?
  11. gelflinggirl

    gelflinggirl BADMAN.

    one of my friends said it to me at my birthday party and I was fuming.
    I was still within the healthy bmi when I lost weight and for the first time in a very long time I felt really happy with the way my body looked and enjoyed going out and buying myself new clothes but there was quite a negative reaction from some of my female friends.
  12. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    Oh also, I need advice on how not to sound like a bitch. I am going home for a week next week. Catching up with friends and family etc. One friend says we can have a party at hers and she will cook. I would rather just sort myself out something to eat and then just party at hers, do I sound like a dick for saying this? Because the diet thing won't go down well obv. She is the same friend who confessed there was a point when she was going to confront me about my "eating disorder" until she saw me eat a whole pizza. There was no fucking eating disorder I was working out like a mad bitch, I used a personal trainer, I took kettlebell classes, I did spin classes to loosen my legs back out from kettlebells and I could run and run. So I don't want that eating disorder shit again.
  13. dirtyplotte

    dirtyplotte sassamafras

    well if you dont want to fucking hear it, make food a non-issue around her. just say, oh, i just ate. not hungry etc. looks good, but im so full after eating a two layer cake. :good:

    i'm so sorry you guys have people who do this to you. people dont pull that shit with me bc im fat. no one says anything to a fattie to her face about food. :love:
  14. Amity

    Amity forever delayed

    I'm sort of guilty of this, sorry! I can only judge on pictures here though, and to me you don't look like you've gained weight. Then again I gain weight the same way - in pictures I look the same in my face, I'd need to gain quite a lot for it to show there.
  15. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    Over a stone. Since November/December.
  16. Norvegicus

    Norvegicus Mutt

    Is this a very close friend?

    I would just say that something came up and show just after dinner. In my opinion that is an okay thing to do, if done far enough in advance. My friends and I don't throw dinner parties though haha.

    People need to learn that comments about weight are sensitive to anyone, not just "fat" people. I have heard my fair shit of eating disorder bullshit from people in real life and on KR, and it really ticks me off.
  17. dirtyplotte

    dirtyplotte sassamafras

    who does that to you here? bc this place seem to be fairly hands off, unless its a "oh you look good" kind of retort when someone says IM FAT
  18. Parma_violet

    Parma_violet Disco 2000

    Yeah, but I don't see her too often. I did think maybe I can just say my boyfriends mum is doing a roast or something.
  19. Norvegicus

    Norvegicus Mutt

    I would do that.

    This happened a while ago. Maybe two years? It wasn't anything recent.
  20. barkstonwill

    barkstonwill Pornographic Filth

    Parma Violet...

    You don't need to lose weight...but you want to...ok I can totally understand that. I hope you do

    also...DO NOT let your friends set your appearance standards for you or try to get you to go along with their game plan.

    In amateur wrestling, you have to make your weight or a lot is at stake. In a university setting, there are always people who want to have a good time and show you a good time when you should be training...and then the people who give in to that wake up and find that their 4 year opportunity to be a champion has vanished and maybe even their good times friends have gone..

    you have to stay disciplined and on your plan even when the whole world is trying to get you off it.

    I don't know how much weight you would like to lose but I think all meaningful long term weight loss comes from all encompassing lifestyle change...vitamins, fruits and vegetables and plant food and white meat in the place of red meat, high fiber bread, 80 oz of water or more a day, moderate amounts of exercise everyday (rather than hard exercise 2-3x a week), and trying to reduce stress in your life.

    even people with say 4% body fat (and world class wrestling resumes) still had "water weight" when I wrestled...it was unbelievable. your body is not your copilot where you're dreams are concerned lol. and if the last 5 years has taught me anything..its that retaining water is about as good for avoiding disease as hoovering cocaine like nasal spray is for having a healthy heart...most people probably need to be rung out once or twice in their lives. If you have access to a sauna or steam room where you are...I'd use it.


    Any people in your life who are trying to stand in the way of your goals for yourself or are not supportive of them....those aren't your friends....people who love you want to see you become the best person you can be or that they think you can be (rightly or wrongly) and they actively try to help remove the obstacles to that from your path. They are happy when you succeed and constructive (rather than destructive) in their criticism and strategy assessments when you don't.

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