Hi everyone. I'm brand new here. I'm 24. Attempted suicide at 20; have dealt with OCD, severe anxiety, hospitalization, bi-polar disorder, and severe depression all my life. Since I was a boy, I've been a musician. It's the only thing I live for. I recorded an album and a single (which you can listen to at the sites below if you want). I learned how to play over 10 instruments, sing, and write. I have a three-octave voice that I got from years of practice, and I've written over 400 songs. I'm not here to promote myself. Please don't think that. I'm not really sure if this belongs in the section on depression or this one. I'm just in a really bad place and I'm reaching out for the guidance of strangers...people who will tell me the truth. Should I quit? Do I suck? www.kurtriley.com - this is where all the music is. youtube.com/KurtRileyOfficial - videos and more music. I'm currently weaning myself off of paroxetine; it took away my ability to write songs. I haven't wanted to kill myself so badly in a long time. But I know that I'm a fucking coward and I could never bring a shotgun to my face, badly as I wish I could. I just want to fade away and disappear. I've spent thousands of dollars and every waking hour of my life on music; I've lost friends, relationships...moved across the country, left jobs, devoted my entire life to making my music known and getting to the point where I can feed myself as an artist. No matter how much I try, I continue to languish in obscurity. I don't want to sound like an asshole when I say that - believe me. I just figure that if I was really any good at this, something would have happened by now. Some kind of progress. I'm at the end of my rope. Please be honest with me. If I'm really just a pretentious loser, tell me. Tell me if I should quit and fucking top myself. Just tell me the truth. And either way, thank you for listening to me.