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I'm a musician. Am I any good?

Discussion in 'the studio' started by thelastdecadent, Oct 15, 2011.

  1. thelastdecadent

    thelastdecadent New Member

    Hi everyone. I'm brand new here.

    I'm 24. Attempted suicide at 20; have dealt with OCD, severe anxiety, hospitalization, bi-polar disorder, and severe depression all my life.

    Since I was a boy, I've been a musician. It's the only thing I live for.
    I recorded an album and a single (which you can listen to at the sites below if you want). I learned how to play over 10 instruments, sing, and write. I have a three-octave voice that I got from years of practice, and I've written over 400 songs.

    I'm not here to promote myself. Please don't think that. I'm not really sure if this belongs in the section on depression or this one.

    I'm just in a really bad place and I'm reaching out for the guidance of strangers...people who will tell me the truth.

    Should I quit?

    Do I suck?

    www.kurtriley.com - this is where all the music is.

    youtube.com/KurtRileyOfficial - videos and more music.

    I'm currently weaning myself off of paroxetine; it took away my ability to write songs. I haven't wanted to kill myself so badly in a long time. But I know that I'm a fucking coward and I could never bring a shotgun to my face, badly as I wish I could. I just want to fade away and disappear. I've spent thousands of dollars and every waking hour of my life on music; I've lost friends, relationships...moved across the country, left jobs, devoted my entire life to making my music known and getting to the point where I can feed myself as an artist.

    No matter how much I try, I continue to languish in obscurity.
    I don't want to sound like an asshole when I say that - believe me.
    I just figure that if I was really any good at this, something would have happened by now. Some kind of progress.

    I'm at the end of my rope.

    Please be honest with me. If I'm really just a pretentious loser, tell me.
    Tell me if I should quit and fucking top myself. Just tell me the truth.

    And either way, thank you for listening to me.
  2. dirtyplotte

    dirtyplotte sassamafras

    1 person likes this.
  3. .parisian

    .parisian .tess d'urberville

    listened to about 40 seconds of picturepulse. i don't think you have a good voice and i do not think you are talented.
  4. HeroinIsDusty

    HeroinIsDusty Banned

    Re-record this quality media channel. IT ROCKS!
  5. Turning

    Turning Might Be A ****

    You don't know me any more than I know you, but let it be said that I am pretty much a giant dickhole a lot of the time and that I very, very rarely say something that's untrue just because it would be kind. I'm much more likely to say something unkind just because it's funny. And true. Or whatever.

    ANYWAY, that rambling is to preface that I listened to Sunshine and I actually really enjoyed it! It's got a much-more-poppy Velvet Underground sort of vibe that I really think you could work with pretty well. It's probably a bit much to make a direct comparison, of course, since they were a world-changing band of epic proportions, but it really sounds like it's in that vein and I can honestly see you doing quite well if the right label got a chance to listen to that track.

    I'll definitely be listening to the other songs when I get a chance, and I might even spend IRL dollars on a copy of Sunshine. :D Well, an IRL dollar. But STILL. :p

    And since it was more of a theme of your post than the music; don't kill yourself. Just don't. You're better than that, quite frankly. You're capable of creating some pretty decent art here, and it'd be a shame to lose that. And you're fucking 24, man. You're barely past the kid stage. Think of it this way; you've been an adult for 1/3rd the time that you spent being a kid. There's still plenty of time for you to hit a point where you're able to feed yourself by playing music, and it's a long, long time away from when you ought to give up. Just keep talking to professionals when you can and maybe try some other drugs. They make a whole lot of them, and surely one of them has to be compatible with song-writing. :p
    1 person likes this.
  6. Model

    Model Es no my yob

    You're new. Lemme spell it out for you. 99% of the people on this board are miserable. Never ever ask questions like this. You could be Hendrix and still get lambasted and called a no-talent. It's just the nature of KR.
  7. clotty

    clotty pussy panther :)

    stop being shitty bc no one liked your mime costume.

    you're a social worker.

    in other news.

    i did not read the first post BUT it's good to see silvine's shit screw thing again.
  8. Abscess

    Abscess sth witchy

    You can't always get what you want, but if you try some time you'll find you get what you need.

    I would like to have been a chanteuse in a Parisian piano bar, but it didn't happen.
  9. Abscess

    Abscess sth witchy

    See, this should be me:


    except leaning on a piano.
  10. Abscess

    Abscess sth witchy

    ...or like Marlene in Blue Angel.
  11. Qesh

    Qesh one biscuit per day


  12. Qesh

    Qesh one biscuit per day

    oh, i quite liked lifetime saviour. i like that glam/ziggy third or fourth time revival thing.
  13. RockJonny

    RockJonny Esteban Light & Dark

    It's not music I would probably ever choose to listen to.

    But it's not terrible.
  14. Amity

    Amity forever delayed

    Well you're definitely pretentious enough.
  15. Abscess

    Abscess sth witchy

    I reckon that guy's been posting this exact same shit all over because the text looks copied and pasted or sth. Fuckers not even been back to thank us for our constructive criticism.
  16. thelastdecadent

    thelastdecadent New Member

    Paroxetine withdrawal is hell. Try it sometime.

    Thanks for the insults, the slagging, and the mockery.

    I honestly hope that you don't treat every newcomer like this.

    To the one or two of you who weren't total vile cunts - thanks. I mean that. You helped me, and that was all I was looking for; objectivity.

    To those of you who pleasured yourself by mocking me:

    rot in hell.

    never copied or pasted,

    1 person likes this.
  17. .parisian

    .parisian .tess d'urberville

    you asked. people were honest.
  18. Amity

    Amity forever delayed

    Wait WHUT? His initials are KR? Is he our Messiah?
    we snarked our Messiah away :(
  19. Qesh

    Qesh one biscuit per day

    we do tend to.
  20. muverick

    muverick SickBubbleGum

    The music was ok, not what I'd listen to often but it wasn't awful, you know.

    As for giving up on music/life/whatever, that's pretty dumb, just get a real job and keep music as a hobby. If it's meant to go anywhere, it will. Not every musician is going to be the next big thing.

    I play instruments, sing and write music, I've recorded about 300 songs so far (not trying to promote myself here :tard:) Anyway, my mates will download them and a few random people will too, I'm happy with that, I like my songs, I get a sense of achievement when I listen back to them, regardless of how many people download them or share them or wotever.
    Last edited: Oct 16, 2011

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