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how to confront someone who stole from you

Discussion in 'the void' started by Seventeen, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. Seventeen

    Seventeen Well-Known Member

    someone stole my cell phone and i am pretty sure who did it. i want to confront him and try to get it back.

    i left it on the table at a restaurant and went to the bathroom and when i returned i realized the phone was missing. also at this time i noticed someone from my group had left their hat on my chair. i never thought someone that i was eating with could have taken the phone; i originally assumed it was taken by a restaurant employee. now i realize it is unlikely a restaurant employee would be so brazen to snatch a customers phone right in front of other patrons, who were all sitting around my seat.

    the tricky part is - this was a holiday dinner thrown by my employer for all of the people who work in our office. the guy who took my phone is a coworker.

    i didnt know this until much later, but i found out that he said some very offensive things and got beat up by the open bar, making a total ass out of himself during the dinner and when the party moved to another bar nearby. offensive enough that i think he should have been fired for his behavior. he even asked if he was going to be fired. he got a verbal warning the next morning.

    i want to confront him and ask for the phone back. if he denies taking it i am going to say that a witness saw him take it and if it isnt returned im going to involve the police. i can also threaten to tell the CEO and other management about what he did. but if it backfires? that might be awkward.

    i want my phone back.

    any other ideas or tactics come to mind?
  2. OrangeSapphire

    OrangeSapphire rule britannia

    Myspace blogs do it uppp Courtney stylee.
  3. Beatrice

    Beatrice dreaming frankenstein

    whoa. all i can do is state the obvious. it's a big deal to call someone a thief, and even though you're pretty sure he took it, you don't seem to have any actual proof? did no one at the table see anything?

    i would definitely ask him about it, but leave out the threats part. essentially, i'm rubbish at drama
  4. miss_scarlet

    miss_scarlet laughingandgaylikeaclown?

    phone! Giz? Back? Now?
    1 person likes this.
  5. sunday green

    sunday green carpe noctem

    menacing anonymous letter with letters cut out of newspaper?

    or, send a circular to everyone in the office asking if anyone saw what happened, cause then he'll know you're on the hunt, and maybe it'll appear?
  6. Beatrice

    Beatrice dreaming frankenstein

    yeah - either, or. no half arsing it
  7. daydream

    daydream love hangs herself

    I'd speak to someone else who was at the table, if it was him then just try and speak to him calmly about it. Say if he gives you it back then no more will be said about it. If he still denies it then you should ask the restaurant about CCTV. You seem pretty sure who it was but if they deny it there's not a huge amount you can do without proof so id ask about the CCTV.
  8. Duchess

    Duchess blah

    Just ask him outright. He sounds like a massive cunt so I really wouldn't worry about offending him.
  9. sunday green

    sunday green carpe noctem

    if he denies it, find out where he lives and kidnap a pet or two
  10. Rotten Berry

    Rotten Berry Favorite Number: forklift

    I would also preface it with someone like, "With all the confusion..." and insinuate that it couldh've been an accident? It sounds like he was probably drinking and I've taken the wrong shoes jackets and once the wrong purse when I'm in that state.

    So. You know.
  11. Seventeen

    Seventeen Well-Known Member

    Hmmm good idea. Well I just sent out a company-wide email asking if anyone picked it up by mistake, or if anyone saw anyone take it. I doubt it's going to yield any clues, but it will make a threat more credible if I tell him that someone told me they saw him take it, or if I say that the restaurant captured his actions on CCTV (even if they didn't). I don't care if thats a dirty tactic. I need results. I can also say that I will not involve law enforcement if he simply returns the phone. Then, true to my word, I will only tell the CEO and his ass will be FIRED. Problem is, he probably knows this, and I think there is a good chance he will deny deny deny until he is blue in the face.

    I'm not really worried about offending this guy. If he is innocent then he has nothing to worry about. I'm not spreading any rumors. The only person I told about my suspicion was the CEO, and I also told him that I am prepared to confront him and accuse him. He didn't exactly tell me not to.


    I dont want to threaten this guy right off the bat, but if he acts like he is lying, I will not hesitate. If he thinks he is caught red handed, he may confess to try and save face.
  12. Axeman

    Axeman New Member

    As pissed as I would be, I think I would be happy that I HAD to get a new phone.
    1 person likes this.
  13. Seventeen

    Seventeen Well-Known Member

    sounds like you have a shitty phone? mine was brand new - i had it less than a week.
  14. sunday green

    sunday green carpe noctem

    do you have insurance, if in the worst case scenario he just doesn't ever pony up the phone? sucks so bad that you had it stolen so new :(
  15. Axeman

    Axeman New Member

    I DID have a shitty phone, for like three years. Just got a new one not long ago.
  16. VenusDeMilo

    VenusDeMilo honeyblood

    I would blame it on someone else. Example, go up to him and say... "Look, I was talking to some people at the dinner about my phone going missing, and two people said they saw you take it. If you give it back, I won't cause any problems. They think I should go to management."
    And then see what he says...
    If you're wrong then those imaginary two other people are dicks, not you.
  17. Mallory Knox

    Mallory Knox ginger afro

    I think this is good advice
  18. jellybella

    jellybella New Member

    did you make a fuss at the time? who else was on your table? someone must know something.
  19. Seventeen

    Seventeen Well-Known Member

    This is a person whom I have to work with every day. I'm 90% sure he stole it, but there is a 10% chance I am wrong and I think that trying to extort him is not a foolproof plan, and if it fails, I'm going to be the asshole. Like I said before, he can just deny it until he is blue in the face.

    I'm waiting for the restaurant to call me back about the CCTV footage (if it exists). If I have proof, that changes things and I will involve the police.

    He is not in the office today. If I see him on Monday I am going to let him know that I found his hat in my chair around the same time my phone went missing. I'll look him in the eyes and ask if he saw anything, since he was around my seat when the phone went missing. MAYBE I will say that there were witnesses who saw him take it, but since this has an accusatory tone I may be burning a bridge the moment I say it.

    There are about 5 people in my company who he pissed off very badly by saying some very explicit misogynist and homophobic remarks. I didn't hear the remarks directly, only second hand, although several people verified what was said. He also peed in the street and some people saw his dick. This guy has no boundaries!

    His first week at our company he told half of the office (including the CEO) that he had watched Nailin' Paylin and that it's easy to find it for free on the internet.
  20. Honey Bee

    Honey Bee New Member

    How has this moron not been fired? Those things can be categorized as sexual harassment.

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